It comes and goes

It's interesting to watch what comes into and goes out of focus in my life. Some days, it's all I can do to get myself to roll out of bed. Other days, I just want to make it through work. There are so many days where things I think about first thing in the morning don't show up again until I'm trying to quiet myself for sleep because of all the little things that move in and out - work deadlines, birthdays, what to eat or when to leave for lunch, whether I'll get to talk to the man of my dreams.

A few weeks ago, I won a sweepstakes, of sorts. It was an online contest and I won a (low carat weight) diamond-studded ring, a "right hand ring," if you will. Well, it made me feel like, yes, my life has been sucking, but there is still a silver lining - I deserve something that makes me feel like I've been taking the right path. (I've won a lot of contests in the last year that have made me feel fortunate even in my pain.) The ring was a sparkly reminder of my ability to get pretty things without needing a man, or even a paycheck.

So what does it mean that my ring fell on the kitchen floor the other night and one of the sparklies - right in the center, mind you - jumped ship? The ring has moved off my radar for the moment, until I have the patience to go to a jeweler and have him or her replace the little tiny princess-cut chip that sailed.

Now I have Hawaii on the brain again because I got an email about what's planned for my birthday...a long horseback ride into a secluded valley with hidden waterfalls and picnics. Ah...a rendevous with my loving man and a couple of horses (oh, and a guide and whoever else goes on the same trip) in a tropical painting of an area. I'm still on the right path, I think.